Kareoke will never be a sober sport
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
