Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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