I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
