i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
