Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
