Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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