capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
