So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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