I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
