We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
