We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
