I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
