i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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