I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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