Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
