you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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