I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
