oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
