It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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