Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
