Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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