i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
