he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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