i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
