Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
