Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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