: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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