I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
