I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
