Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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