When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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