I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
