ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
