So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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