i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
