god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
