Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
