there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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