I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
