i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
