I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
