I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
