He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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