One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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