Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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