Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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