im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
