Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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