May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my vagina is haunted
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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