He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
