I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my shit smells like andre
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
